My parenting plan spells out that we are to mediate disputes. My ex-wife is taking another vacation with my kids when she has already used up her vacation for the year. I denied her vacation, but she told me she is taking it anyhow. I asked to mediate through a neutral law firm and she is telling me she won't mediate until after she gets back from her vacation that isn't supposed to begin for another 2 weeks. She said there is nothing I can say in mediation that will change her mind about vacation. She also stated she wouldn't mediate unless I also agree to mediate child support at the same time because she wants it to increase. We just went through a support modification in court last year. This sounds like extortion and I'm not even sure if child support can be mediated.
After reading the responses I will add that my parenting plan states, "Disputes between the parties, other than child support disputes, shall be submitted to..." There is no dispute resolution written into the support order; it merely says, "Pursuant to statute".
Mr. Hawkins is completely accurate and clear in his explanation of what your next steps are.
To answer some of the mediation related parts of the question-
1) you must follow the terms of the parenting plan/agreement with regards to HOW to request mediation. For example, if it says "written notice of intent to mediate", then be sure to have sent written notice. If the Plan requires proof of service, send it Return receipt requested, either via snail mail or get the software for electronic mail. You Must follow the language in your plan in the section for "requesting mediation" pursuant to the Plan; or the court will kick it back to you.
2) if you do not have any other agreements, whether it be a marital settlement agreement or a child support agreement, if you you have no other agreements that have a mediation clause, then the mediator should not have jurisdiction over a subject that is not within the scope.
As for extortion, mediation is voluntary; precisely why Mr. Hawkins gave the advice below. She cannot compel you to mediate child support issues unless a Judge compels it first.
However, you can compel her to mediate violations of the parenting plan for: 1) taking extra vacation time without permission, 2)refusing to attend mediation in violation of the parenting plan.
I recommend you hire or re-hire your divorce attorney for this matter.
If she refused to mediate, you'll need to filer a motion for contempt of court -- you"ll need to have the hearing before she leaves. That meas in Snohomish county you need to give her 12 days notice of the hearing which also means you'll probably need to get a show cause order signed in the next couple of days and served on her. Waste not time.
Violations to any aspect of the parenting plan may give rise to a contempt action. In my experience, courts are more likely to making a finding against the other party that they are in contempt (provided the facts are there) when it comes to violations of the residential provisions of the parenting plan than the dispute resolution component of the parenting plan. However, all violations should be asserted. Based on your answer, I would recommend leading with the fact she utilized her afforded vacation and is now taking the children on vacation which would interfere with your time. If there is corroboration that she has violated the parenting plan that has been captured via email or text, both can be used in support of your motion. You also need to be made aware that multiple findings of contempt against the other party of the parenting plan can be grounds to modify the parenting plan. RCW 26.09.260(2)(d) is the section of the modification statute to consult. The pertinent language within the statute reads as follows: (d) The court has found the nonmoving parent in contempt of court at least twice within three years because the parent failed to comply with the residential time provisions in the court-ordered parenting plan, . . ." You will note that the emphasis in the statutory language concerns failure to comply with the residential time provisions. Accordingly, you should emphasize the violations that are violations of the residential time provisions if they exist, and also include her unwillingness to mediate. You may want to consult with an attorney or even hire one to assist you. You do not want to file a motion that has little to no chances of success and that could later be characterized as an act of litigiousness on your part.
