What should I expect from mediation and how should I prepare for it?

Mediation is generally something that is preferred by the courts to hash out custody issues. Child custody agreements are always based on what is best for the child and this will be the central focus of the mediator as a neutral party. If you do not have a lawyer, I would highly suggest hiring one that specializes in family law- especially if the other side has one. Having someone on your side who knows the laws relevant to your case will be very helpful to ensure the best interest of the child occurs and creating an agreement the parents can live with and fulfill. It's good to know exactly what you want when going into mediation talks with the other side, so it seems you have that covered as far as being prepared. It would also be helpful to know what your child would prefer or what they would say if asked where they would like to live. Generally, whatever agreement is created during mediation is presented to the court as a recommendation. If it appears fair and in the child's best interest, there is a good chance the court will accept it.

It would be useful for you to become familiar with the different styles of mediation practiced in Washington State so that you can decide which type of mediator you and the father would prefer to work with. Some mediators will be both directive and evaluative, giving advice and suggesting how a situation would be resolved if you were to go to court. Others use a facilitative style and will use a variety of techniques to support you and the father in coming to your own resolution. Once you have an idea as to what kind of mediator you would like to work with, do some research on the internet to find a few mediators who fit your needs. Read their bios and resumes. Review their training. Then arrange for you and the father to meet with a few mediators to help you decide who seems most appropriate for you. Most mediators offer free consults. Finally, the website, Mediate.com, provides a wealth of material on the various styles of mediation. To simplify your research, look for articles describing facilitative, evaluative, and Transformative mediation. That website also provides the names of mediators practicing near or around your area in Washington. Note, however, that mediators pay for these listings.

You do not indicate what kind of a case this is- divorce, paternity/ parent plan action, modification, etc. And, you do not indicate if a case has already been filed. However, if the child lives in Mill Creek with you, your case would be in Snohomish County. But, even if you are in King County, absent the existence of domestic violence, both King County and Snohomish county require some form of ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution) in any of those actions involving children. So, it is not a choice either you or the father have. Once you have an active case, you will also be required to attend a Parenting Seminar in addition to participating in mediation. The parenting seminar is is a court approved class lasting a couple hours. Anyway, it is a good thing that you are looking forward to mediation and trying to reach an amicable agreement. A skilled mediator can offer suggestions and help you move through impasses to help you and the father reach an agreement. However, it is important to educate yourself about the Washington’s Parent Plan Act. If you are unable to reach an agreement regarding a parenting plan, you would have to go to trial and a judge would determine what the parenting plan should be.. The court relies on the criteria set out at RCW 26.09.187. Below is a link for that statute. http://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.187 Before you go to mediation, it is important to know what factors or criteria the court is required to consider when entering a parenting plan because you want to make sure that what you and the father are wanting the court to approve is workable. For example, you say that you are a stay at home mother and so, you want the child to go to school close to your house once the child starts school because the father will be working during the day. One of the factors the court considers when ordering a shared schedule like you suggest is whether you are in close enough proximity to each other to do that. So, if the father is 20 miles away, would he be able to get the child to school in the morning? Or would the shared residential schedule have to end with the child starts school? It sounds like you may have seen one of the mandatory forms used to prepare a parenting plan. If you haven't below is the court's statewide website for those forms. http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms/?fa=forms.contribute&formID=13 I would encourage you to meet with a local lawyer and to discuss the specific facts of your case. They can help you draft a parenting plan. I believe it is very helpful to have a proposed parenting plan already completed before you arrive at mediation. Otherwise, you run the risk of reaching an agreement that does not address important details, or an agreement which you later realize was not workable. You should know which provisions in your proposal are important to you that you would not want to give up, and which provisions you don't care about. In addition to the residential schedule, the decision-making provisions are very important, so you want to give thought to those. If you have been a stay at home parent for awhile and the child has been living primarily with you a majority of the time, then you are clearly a candidate to be the primary parent if an alternating weekly schedule is not workable. However, there are other factors the court will look at and you want to be sure the father doesn’t gain an advantage by being more knowledgeable about the statute than you are. If it would create a hardship to retain a lawyer, below is a link for the Northwest Justice Project. You can secure information about low cost services or potentially pro bono services, although pro bono services might be difficult to secure due to the volume of needy cases. https://nwjustice.org/get-legal-help Good luck.

I think it is great that you really want to do mediation. Good for you! By far, the best preparation for mediation would be to meet with a good family law attorney who is also trained as a mediator. This is much less expensive than hiring the lawyer to represent you or go to court for you. You have thought this through and it sounds like you are trying to be extremely fair. A lawyer can advise you about what factors the court would take into consideration when deciding which school your child will attend. Mediators are neutral facilitators who help keep the ground rules while making sure that both parties' voices are heard. Sometimes they can make suggestions or have separate meetings with each party to help them figure out their position better. They usually can help you write up any agreements you reach and please be aware that mediation is often a process that takes some time. It can be very successful at helping make decisions without fighting and that is much better for children (and parents). Good luck!