Who gets temporary custody?

Hello: Your delay in filing for divorce or custody is understandable, as court processes can be costly and impersonal. In response to your questions: 1) If your husband files for divorce or custody first, you can still seek affirmative relief on the issues that he raises in his moving papers. In other words, if he is asking for sole or primary custody in his papers, you can ask for sole, primary or joint custody in your responsive papers. However, if his moving papers does not raise the issue of support, you may not be able to ask for it in your response (and it would be totally up to the judge's discretion on whether to order either party to pay support). 2) Since the court's decision should be based on the issues and evidence presented, it does not mean that your husband will automatically get custody if he files first. If you have been your daughter's primary caretaker, that would be a major factor for the court to order that you retain primary custody. 3) In family law court, it sometimes boils down to his word against your word about why the non-custodial parent (i.e. your husband in this case) rarely sees his child. It is the public policy of this state that a child have frequent and continuing contact with both parents. So, you should not view custody or visitation as an "all or nothing" proposition, as the custodial parent is supposed to facilitate reasonable visitation for the other parent. 4) Prior to most court hearings on custody issues, both parents are required to attend a "conciliation court" appointment with an in-house mediator acting as a go-between the parents for working out a mutually agreed parenting plan. This service is provided free-of-charge by the court; so you should try to reach a custody and visitation agreement which is mutually acceptable to you and the other parent. This agreement can be entered as stipulated court order if neither of you revokes it within a stated period of time. Any issues which is not resolved through this process can be deferred for a ruling by the court at the hearing. You may wish to consult with a family law attorney about what steps to take, even if you are not ready to file court proceedings at this time. [Note: the above information is for consumer education purpose only, not intended to be legal advice to be relied on, and does not create an attorney-client relationship].