My ex-husband is trying to get full custody of my son. We have been separated for a year and my son lives with me most of the time. My ex-husband said that if I don't give him two nights a week overnight with my son, then he will seek full custody. Would he have a leg to stand on with this? And what would he have to prove to make it look like I am an unfit parent and be granted full custody? As a side note, I don't do drugs, have a drinking problem nor have I ever been in trouble with the law... not even a speeding ticket. I do not abuse my son, he has his own room at my house and he is very well taken care of.
First, take into account that beyond the law, local policies and unwritten rules can color a child custody proceeding and are important when fighting a custody suit. I am not sure from your question as to whether or not your ex has filed a suit against you and either he or his attorney has served you with papers. If this is the case, your time is limited and I would strongly recommend you speak with an attorney ASAP to avoid missing any deadlines in civil procedure.
If no lawsuit has been filed yet, as I suspect, then you've got a bit of extra time. Take a deep breath and keep these things in mind: the court is concerned with what's called the "best interest of the child" standard. That means that the parent's needs, wishes, and considerations of schedules are always secondary to what is in your child's best interest. I have handled custody cases in Lee and Johnston counties, so I am giving you some basic law and cannot speak to local custom in Charlotte. That said, the fact that your child lives with you nearly full time is extremely in your favor. Judges in our counties and I expect anywhere in our state are not usually willing to take a child away from the school district, home, and social life that he/she is used to. An attorney local in your area could advise you as to what makes the biggest impact in a court showing your child's health, wellbeing, schooling, home life, friends, church, etc. are being met.
The other point I'd like you to consider is that the court is unlikely to grant sole legal custody to one parent over the other without a reason. If both parents are fit, then one parent would have sole physical custody while both parents have joint legal custody. I've seen some crazy scheduling but a good and simple plan would start with one parent having the child weekdays while the child visits the other parent every other weekend and usually trading off holidays, birthdays, and a longer visitation schedule with the non-custodial parent during the summers. This may not work for you and is merely an example.
Working out visitation can be done outside of court with a private mediator or between the two of you, or, if a lawsuit is filed, the court will order you to complete court-sanctioned mediation to work out a custody and visitation plan. If that goes nowhere, you could be looking at a full blown custody battle in court.
The hope is always that the parties can come together and make decisions that affect custody and visitation without the courts having to intervene. If this is not possible, and that may be the case if there are unreasonable demands from your ex which disrupt your child's wellbeing and sense of stability, then you are better served by seeking the advice of local counsel early on, and getting some perspective on the process local to Charlotte and what is possible vs. what is unreasonable.
There is a lot to consider, so I hope this gives you some perspective. Good luck to you.
Without knowing more, my answer would simply be that what he is seeking will be very difficult. A lot of people initially seek "full" or "sole" custody, but this is typically not feasible and could be a waste of time and money. In order for someone to get full custody (or sole primary custody), where the other party doesn't receive visitation unless permitted by the custodial parent, the person seeking such custody must prove that you acted in contradiction of or not in conformity with your constitutionally protected right to be a parent. However, and please take this with a grain of salt as I am not familiar with all the details of your situation, I would caution you on what appears to be you limiting his custodial time with his son. I am not advocating one way or another, but if the court finds that your decision to limit the custodial time was not valid, this could have an impact on your overall case. Since your question raises many more questions, I strongly suggest you contact an attorney. It never hurts to be proactive if you believe that a child custody lawsuit is inevitable.
