Divorce / Mediation Question

If the judge orders mediation at the Temporary Hearing, then yes, he can be ordered to attend mediation. However, attending mediation has nothing to do with waiting to be separated for a year. Mediation does not dissolve the marriage; mediation is simply a process parties may go through in order to come to a consent agreement about issues involved in the litigation. The court will still require that they have been separated for a year's time (continuously) in order to grant a divorce on those grounds. The only way to do it faster is to have a fault ground (not counting desertion, which also requires a year's continuous separation) - and it sounds like adultery may be there. It sounds like she is already running into issues that she does not understand, so my recommendation is that she retain a family law attorney ASAP. She can use the Find a Lawyer feature at the top of the page to help her find experienced family law attorneys in her area.

I agree with Ms. Seibert. I wanted to add that some counties are mandatory mediation counties. So, it does not matter if agrees with mediation. Either the parties agree on a mediator, or the Clerk's Office will appoint one.

Trying to do one's own divorce without hiring a professional seems to me a bit like trying to do surgery on one's own foot without hiring a surgeon. It may be possible, but it's not pleasant, chances of messing something up are significant, and the long term consequences of mistakes can be serious. I would strongly recommend that your GF hire an attorney. To address your question, there are several things all jumbled up and confused here. As Attorney Siebert pointed out, mediation is merely a meeting in which parties are given an opportunity to reach agreement concerning issues which must be addressed as part of dissolving the legal relationship of marriage. Some of the issues that can be addressed in mediation of a divorce settlement include support obligations such as alimony or child support, division of assets and debts, and rights and obligations as a parent such as custody and parenting plan. Mediation does not affect the grounds for divorce (which is determined by the Complaint filed in court), and it does not bypass the requirement of a one year waiting period for a divorce based on the ground of one year separation. If your girlfriend is wanting to change her grounds for divorce from one year's separation to one of the other grounds laid out in the divorce statute, she will most likely need the assistance of an attorney. As an aside, you mention some issues related to abusive behavior. Mediation is a very serious meeting and any agreements reached during a court ordered mediation have long term legal consequences. The Code of Ethics for family mediators requires a mediator to ensure that the mediation is not tainted by threats, violence, or abuse of one party by another. The red flag of abuse adds a layer of complexity to any mediation which must be addressed by the mediator at the outset. Therefore, if your GF does proceed to mediation, she should bring the abuse to the attention of both the mediator and the court so that the process can be designed to prevent the integrity of mediation from being affected by threats or abuse. Basically, under the circumstances you're describing, there is no way I would recommend this person proceeding as a pro se litigant (as it sounds like she may be doing). I hope she has an attorney, in which case she should direct her questions to that attorney. If she doesn't have an attorney, she needs to find one.