QDRO not prepared but there is a joinder...

Yes, your spouse is still entitled to share of your retirement. All the joinder did was to put the administrator of the plan on notice that the dissolution was filed. That is important because they should not distribute anything to anyone until they have a court order (the QDRO) telling them who gets what. You say you were separated in 09. I am going to assume, since you both remarried, that your Judgment terminating the marriage was filed. You should consult a family law attorney immediately and take a copy of your Judgment with you. You may anticipate that, assuming the property division included an order for the division of the community property portion of the pension, the attorney will send you to an attorney who specializes in the preparation of orders dividing pensions. Most family law attorneys do not prepare the orders for the division of pension benefits because it is much less expensive for someone who does them all the time to do it an they avoid some of the pitfalls that can occur when it is done incorrectly. You may have to pay for it even if there is an order for you to share the cost but you should go ahead and get it done. You do not want to put in your paperwork to retire and discover that you are going to have to get these orders before you are going to get anything from the plan and it can take months. Just get it done and get it done right.