I have a 10 month old son. I have filed for child support from his father, who is not in his life. So far there has been no custody hearing, his father hasn't filed anything and I don't know if he plans on it or not, if he did it would be to manipulate me rather than actually wanting to be in my sons life.. My ex is abusive and an alcoholic with a criminal record. Would it be better for me to not file for custody officially in the courts if I do not want my son to see his father? Seems like colorado tends to be a 50/50 state, is it a safer route to not go through the court system since I already have full custody, or would it be better to try to go to court and officially establish full custody?
You are being foolish not to hire a lawyer and let them advise you on this issue. The last thing you want to worry about is him coming around in 2 or 3 years and demanding things and saying you have no more legal rights to the child than he does, since there is no court order. Further, I am not sure how you cold get an order for child support without some indication that the child is with you.
In Washington, the usual procedure is for the court to order child support and reserve the issue of a Residential schedule while awarding custody to the mother or father until such an order is entered. Then the mother or father is the custodial parent
Anyway, hire a lawyer.
Douglas Todd CohenCriminal Defense AttorneyDenver, CO ·
Sorry about your past experience with your son's father. More background is needed to best help you determine best course of action. If he is not cooperative in raising you son now, he probably won't cooperate or stipulate to important parenting issues without resistance. So I recommend you consult and retain counsel. Having said that, in general:
It usually is better to be be proactive and file motions now, including motions for an order for allocation of parental responsibilities, sole decision making and a formal child support order. If there are no orders in place, Father has the same rights to your 10-month-old son as you do (unless there is already a protection order in place due to abuse.) If Father in the future attempts take your son, or keep him for extended periods of parenting time, and/or not help support your son, without any orders in place you would be in a reactive situation where you need to seek emergency orders.
Best of luck to you and seek counsel if you are unable to file these on your own.
Mary Katherine BrownFamily Law AttorneyBrooklyn, NY ·
It really depends on the individual facts of your particular situation--in some cases, "if it isn't broke, don't fix it" applies, others benefit from taking action ahead of a problem. Talking this through with a local attorney will help you determine which approach is right for you. Good luck!
