My mother is a monster, she won't let the father of my baby claim her on on taxes because SHE wants the money and food stamps and all that business. She is constantly stressing me out to the point where I had to be put on antidepressants and my hair was falling out. My fiancée and I need a judge to give their approval for us to get married because the laws we have read said that a judge can give us their approval and there's nothing my mother can say about it. We have a place to live that won't require her to have us live with her and his mother said she'll help us because he was recently laid off at work but he's looking for a job so he can support myself and his daughter. Please help.
You're still a minor regardless of whether you're now a mom yourself. Thus, your own mom can claim both of you as dependents. If your mom agrees to let you move out, then she won't be able to claim either of you as dependents. If your mom doesn't agree to let you move out, then you'll have to file a legal claim to emancipate which is not an easy thing to do even with a lawyer. Otherwise, you have to stay with your mom until you are 18.
If you are 16 or older but under 18, you can marry in Illinois if you have parental consent. Although there are instances in Illinois where a judge can give approval, that is only if there is no parent alive and no legal guardian to give consent. So, since your mother is alive and well, a judge can’t substitute his/her judgment for hers.
The above are my legal comments. But, as I read your post, I had other thoughts about your situation. As you are on antidepressants, it sounds like you have seen a doctor. However, I would encourage you to see your physician again as well as a counselor and to try to determine the source of your depression. Caring for a child is a lot of responsibility and can result in enormous stress. When a woman gives birth, she can experience hormone changes that can cause depression. It sounds like your relationship with your mother is troubled and you believe she is the cause of your depression.
Your depression can be caused by one or all of the above. You are very young, still a child yourself, and raising a child is very demanding – even for mature woman with good, positive family support. If your relationship with your mother is really troubled and she is the source of your depression as you say, maybe a counselor can help you find a way to work with your mom. Perhaps with help, she can be persuaded that you need another environment – with your boyfriend’s mom, for example.
Or the counselor may help you determine that it is not your mother causing your depression but hormonal changes resulting from your pregnancy. Knowing that it is not your mother causing your stress might improve your relationship and reduce your stress level.
In counseling, you may also just come to the realization that raising a child is very demanding. The counselor might be able to help you figure out how to get your own emotional needs met so that you have energy to meet the needs of your child.
You and your boyfriend will need a lot of emotional support to be successful parents together and he should consider attending counseling with you.
