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Can I lose custody because my son has bad grades
Anonymous5 views5 answers
My ex husband wants me to give up my 100 custody of my son,as he has had bad grades. We live in Germany and my son is in the highest school system here, but he has Adhs AND is 15 years old. I have another child and I stay at home and work with my son after school with homework. He has problems which I have clarified with my ex-husband but he doesn't understand. Now he is saying he takes me to court to take my son back to California because he has bad grades. Is this possible? We had been living in germany now for 7 years and have full lifetime residency but because our divorce was filed in california he says i have to go back and he makes me to go back to the usa. I am a new zealand national and i SEND HIM UPDATES EVERY Month. I also pay all my sons medical. On a side note my ex-husband has been married twice since our divorce is in and out off jobs and didn't pay child support for a year, I took him back to your for 1 year of no child support, which he has just paid off after 7 years as it was 25,000 dollars. But is it true because my son has bad grades I can loss custody of my child? in San Jose, CA
I agree with my esteemed colleague, but be on the lookout for actual pleadings to appear in court as you will need an attorney to appear for you. Make sure your ex has your current address and/or attorney's address so that you don't miss any notices that might be real.
Seven years in your primary custody is a long time, and the courts (and the law) favor stability and continuity for the children. A change in custody requires your ex to prove that there has been a SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES. Getting bad grades is not a change in circumstances.
I fail to see how bringing your son from Germany's excellent school system to the California schools will benefit him. It is also questionable how a complete change in his established living arrangements could possibly help your ADHD son. Changing living and academic environments tends to be MORE disruptive, not less. Also, if your son is diagnosed ADHD, he likely has a pediatrician working with him in Germany.
Sadly, if he wants to file a motion to have custody transferred, California would retain jurisdiction. You could ask the court for permission to participate by speakerphone, since obviously leaving your children in Germany while you come to San Jose would be ridiculous.
There are several scenarios that could play out with this question but I do not think any of them would end in you having to return your child to the U.S. especially after having lived in Germany for 7+ years. I would even question if California would take the jurisdiction (yes I know CA made the original order) because of the length of time the child has lived overseas.
Ensure your ex has the proper address so you can be assured you will receive anything he sends. I have seen overseas cases where one party will said they sent it but they have not. There are also specific serving conditions he will have to meet (in some cases the pleadings must be in the language of the country it is being served in).
If you can have an attorney here in California watch to see if there is anything being filed.
Good luck.
I don't think bad grades alone will give way to a drastic modification. A few other questions and issues to consider:
First, does the US have jurisdiction over the child? this brings up potential UCCJEA arguments for you.
Second, assuming that your decree is from California, is it a final order pursuant to the case law of Montenegro vs. Diaz?
Both questions, if answered in your favor, would make modification based on a California court ruling difficult if not impossible (assuming CA no longer has jurisdiction).
