Child custody and visitation issues. How to subpoena a deposition for court myself.
Greetings. I am a custodial parent in a joint custody divorce settlement. Here is my current situation. My daughter is 11 years old, has not seen her father since Xmas 2007. Her father lives in the same state approximately 90 miles from our home. He has called her about 10 times throughout the year, has invited her to visit several times however, she has refused to go and he has not enforced his parenting time. At times he goes months without contact at all. My most recent dilemna, because she refused to go to his house for Thanksgiving, he is taking me back to court for more parenting time claiming I am preventing my daughter from seeing him. I want to add that at 10 years old, I bought and pay monthly for a cell phone for my daughter so that he could speak with her and she him at any time without having to call my phone. Last spring, I was supoenaed to testify against him in a wrongful termination lawsuit he filed against a former employer. As hard as I tried, I could not get out of giving my deposition and in the process, it was revealed to me that he testified under oath, in his deposition that he does not see his daughter and makes no attempt to see her. I have contacted the attorney that had subpoenaed me and asked if they could provide that part of his deposition to take to court with me and was told that I would need a a subpeona to obtain this information. After spending in excess of $15,000 in attorney fees since 2001 I can not afford to pay an attorney to represent me in court any longer. My question is, how can I subpoena this information myself as I begin to prepare to represent myself in court this time around?
My ex husband has been in arrears in excess of $3,000 in court ordered resposibilities such as, child care, medical bills, half the cost of med. insurance (which I incur) and tutoring. Thankfully, because of his recent full time employment with the US Air Force and automatic garnishment, since July 2008, child support is current for the first time in 7 years.
At what age will the court take into account the childs point of view. This man has two older children from a previous marriage that have nothing to do with him. It is heartbreaking to have to see my daughter suffer at his insensitivity and neglect. He has had no involvement in her life since pre-school. The only school event he has ever attended was a school play when she was in Kindergarten. She is now in 6th grade and he has never shown an interest and has never met with any of her teachers or has been involved in any way in her education. Has never attended dance recital, a concert, a basketball game, a track meet, a softball game, etc. You get the picture. As you can imagine, it is heartbreaking for her when all the other girls in school and on her teams have their fathers present. Luckily, she has a very involved uncle who has stepped in and attends every single event and game that she participates in. My intention is not to write him out of her life completely, I am hopeful that one day she will find a way to have some sort of relationship with him for her sake. However, the hurt and emotional damage he has caused her is taking it's toll and she is becoming more and more angry. I have taken her to a therapist to help us both deal with our family isssues in the most healthy way. I have been advised to stop making excuses for him and protecting him, as to not jeopordize her trust in me.
My next question is, can you offer any advice as to how can I stop this insanity of being brought to court time and time again? Because of the emotional stress, I have long stopped pursuing the arrearages. I try not to have any contact with my ex-husband at all. I would happily forfeit that money if only I could have the court order him to stop harrassing his daughter and myself.
Thanking you in advance for any advice that you can provide. I am at my wits end!
Sincerely, DPM