Ex not proceeding with co-parent counseling

If you have a court order that states that you shall both attend co-parent counseling and your ex fails to attend, you may bring an Order to Show Cause for Contempt in order to enforce the court order. First, though, attempt to communicate with your ex to learn what their reasons are for failing to attend counseling and for wanting to change counselors. You should keep a journal of your attempts to resolve this problem outside of the court so that if you do indeed file an Order to Show Cause you can show the judge your attempts to resolve this informally.

I practice in Contra Costa County, and am familiar with the orders from the court here as well as many of the co-parenting counselors. If your order specifically identifies the counselor, then I would make several attempts to have the ex comply with the existing order... document these requests (e.g. use email). Generally we find that when a party wants to use a different counselor, it's because s/he doesn't like what the counselor is saying... which is why it's probably good to continue with the same counselor. On the other hand, if you're willing to change counselors, then you and he need to come to an agreement on the new counselor. Give the ex a list a week to come up with alternative names of counselors. Or give him a list of counselors and a week to pick one. If you private message me, I'd be happy to give you some alternative names. Otherwise, I would consider filing a motion to compel the ex's attendance at co-parenting counseling, and not a motion re: contempt. Contempt causes all kinds of problems, including the invocation of 5th Amendment rights and different procedural rules that create delays... contempt is not an ideal solution for every case (although it has its place). A motion to compel does not trigger 5th Amendment rights, and you can ask for attorney fees and costs (should you consult an attorney) pursuant to Fam. Code Section 271.