I understand its not illegal to have an affair, but is there anything I can do? We were together 15 years and married for 5.

Your best chance in getting your life back together and moving on successfully yourself is to maintain your own dignity and pursue a fair settlement. You will want to contact an attorney in your area who can advise you of your rights in the divorce. For example, some states recognize a "meritricious relationship" which means that the court will consider the time that you lived together before marriage when dividing up your assets and so you will want to pursue that same idea in a mediation or other settlement attempts. You will need to separate the emotion from the process and focus on the black and white. That may sound harsh, but your life will ultimately be less chaotic if you simply refuse to engage in communications that are a futile waste of energy. He may have taken and wasted your dreams, but he cannot take your dignity without your permission. And, you can make new dreams that are far more rewarding than anything he was willing to commit to. In the meantime, if you don't know someone that could give you a referral in your area, take yourself down to your local courthouse and sit in on the family court docket a time or two (open to the public) to observe the attorneys at work and find one that you think you would work well with. Also, search through some of the answers posted here on by attorneys in your area and check out the comments left on their profiles by previous clients. Good luck.

Employ local legal representation. Let your attorney do his job as you set off on a new life filled with great opportunity. Good Luck.

Get a lawyer. If you were only married for 5 years, then you are not entitled to spousal support after the divorce, but you may be entitled to temporary support while the divorce is pending. Additionally, the code provides for a just and fair division of assets and debts, and in this case, just and fair may not be 50-50.