I have a $56k+ Promissory Note signed by spouse which he refuses to pay. Can I sue him while we are still married?

we have been married 22 years 2 1/2 years ago my husband was laid-off. For the majority of our marriage I supported us, when I got sick we moved in with my parents so he could get an education, he had dropped out of HS in 10th grade, I had been fighting cancer and hadn't been able to work for 3 years. After months of him being unable to get work, I got a part-time job. I found him a job thru family in WA we saw it as our chance at a better life. We decided that the kids and I would stay in SD, and he would go, stay with family till he earned enough to get us all up there. Meanwhile I would find a way to support us here. I worked a reg job mornings then would do computer work at home just to survive. 4 months later he said he had saved enough to bring us up there just needed to find a place. my online business was starting to do really good. Long story short he lost his job and hadnt saved any $$. We decided that it was our chance to start the business we had always talked about. We knew all along that due to new laws/regs etc and the nature of .com's, that as of dec 31st i would have to close my business. So I worked 24/7 to make it happen. My hard work paid off and I was made more $$ during the next year than we had made in 20. I poured everything into our new life in wa paid rent/utils etc on 2 houses plus new everything for our home in wa purchased all new equip for business. Not to mention spa, dune buggy, Motorcycles, boat we could finally do all the things we had always wanted to do with our kids. He made several trips to get all of our stuff up there, Dec 31st I sold my .com Feb 1 was target date to leave sd. Quit my day job he even convinced me to give away all but bare nec. in sd since we had moved all valuables to wa & no room for old stuff. Delay after delay until it got to the point where had to make a choice pay rent in wa or ca? He convinced me wa since that was where our new life was. Why pay for the house we moving from? So gave up home in ca. When he came down to get we had 2 cars, my son and I ea had and one large box of clothes (our 17 yr old daughter had just attended her first day of college) The night before we were to leave he told us that he we wouldn't be going with him. He had been having an affair ,she was living our house, Apparently I had been supporting the 2 of them for a least a year that I now know of , truth be know its probably a whole lot longer. He signed the p note, left us in the hotel with 1 night pd, $250, 1 car, 2 bx clothes. And promised to either move out of wa house or find us one but he needed 2 wks, he hadn't told her we were supposed to be moving up there. Come to find out he had told the landlord and everybody that we were divorced. Bottom line we are homeless, he makes good $$ hasnt sent us 1 cent. Can I collect on note?? Cant afford to file for divorce, don't even have the $$ to go get our stuff. He even told me that if we were to show up he would refuse to let us in even call the police to make us leave. Can he do that?? Don't I have any rights to our home etc up there?? Obviously theres a whole lot more going on up there then I know cause I can tell he's very scared that I'll show up. Needless to say I feel like a complete fool . I'm an extremely intelligent person, (ironically he told me that the main reason he was attracted to her is because she's everything I'm not, "STUPID", "UNEDUCATED", "ALCOHOLIC" and has no "AMBITION" his words not mine.) He has even gone so far as to tell me that he isn't sure who wants, but he knows that choosing a life with her means giving up me and his kids(she's legally not allowed to be around her kids) and he would be choosing a life of poverty. Obviously I should be the poster wife for "Love is Blind"