Should I consider being a conservator if I felt it would be against the wishes of an elderly parent?

This is really a tough situation. However, it is not really a legal problem. You have to search your own moral and spiritual compass here to come up with what is right for you individually. No lawyer can really give the answer here, since it is clear that there is no right answer in this situation. Hope this helps. If you think this post was helpful, please check the thumbs up (helpful) tab below and/or designate my answer as best answer. Thanks. LEGAL DISCLAIMER Mr. Fromm is licensed to practice law in PA with offices in Philadelphia and Montgomery Counties. He is uuthorized to handle IRS matters throughout the United States.His phone number is 215-735-2336 or his email address is [email protected] , his website is www.sjfpc.com. and his blog is Mr. Fromm is ethically required to state that the response herein is not legal advice and does not create an attorney/ client relationship. Also, there are no recognized legal specialties under Pennsylvania law. Any references to a trust, estate or tax lawyer refer only to the fact that Mr. Fromm limits his practice to these areas of the law. These responses are only in the form of legal education and are intended to only provide general information about the matter within the question. Oftentimes the question does not include significant and important facts and timelines that if known could significantly change the reply or make such reply unsuitable. Mr. Fromm strongly advises the questioner to confer with an attorney in their state in order to ensure proper advice is received. By using this site you understand and agree that there is no attorney client relationship or confidentiality between you and the attorney responding. This site should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed attorney that practices in the subject area in your jurisdiction, who is familiar with your specific facts and all of the circumstances and with whom you have an attorney client relationship. The law changes frequently and varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. The information and materials provided are general in nature, and may not apply to a specific factual or legal circumstance described in the question or omitted from the question. Circular 230 Disclaimer - Any information in this comment may not be used to eliminate or reduce penalties by the IRS or any other governmental agency. [email protected] , website is www.sjfpc.com. blog is

Serving as conservator is rarely an easy task, and that is complicated by the fact that she may be hostile to you as it is, and that in later stages of dementia individuals can be hostile towards everybody, and family tend to take that personally. That being said, it is my experience that family conservators are in the best interests of the ward. Compared to an unfamiliar, court-appointed conservator, you are not depleting your mother's estate to pay yourself, you are more available to deal with small needs and transactions on a day-to-day basis, and by having known your mother there will be some small matters of discretion along the way where knowing your mother's history, preferences, and tastes will help to make her more comfortable down the road. If your relationship is so strained that it would cause her great anxiety to be forced to deal with you, it may be in everyone's best interests for you to let the state pick someone with a clean slate. Otherwise, you are stuck squarely in a world of performing emotional calculus: how much do I value giving my mom slightly better support, how much do I value knowing her needs are well met because I'm the one doing it, and are those things worth the difficulty of working with her, which the dementia could make better or worse? Only with a little soul searching can you know the answer to that, and nothing is wrong with either option.