No court order currently

The Court will look at the following factors when what custody arrangement is in the best interests of the minor child: the physical, emotional, mental, religious, and social needs of the child; the capability and desire of each parent to meet these needs; the child's preference if the child is of sufficient age and capacity to form a preference; the love and affection existing between the child and each parent; the length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity; the willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the other parent and the child, except that the court may not consider this willingness and ability if one parent shows that the other parent has sexually assaulted or engaged in domestic violence against the parent or a child, and that a continuing relationship with the other parent will endanger the health or safety of either the parent or the child; any evidence of domestic violence, child abuse, or child neglect in the proposed custodial household or a history of violence between the parents; evidence that substance abuse by either parent or other members of the household directly affects the emotional or physical well-being of the child; other factors that the court considers pertinent. As you can see from this list you making a unilateral decision concerning custody could give cause for the judge to rule against you when making a final custody decision. Your best course of action is to let this process play out. From your facts you have already gone 11 years without court intervention so allowing a couple more months to pass so that you can get a court order should not be that detrimental. If the mother is currently presenting facts which are contrary to these factors you could always ask the court for an interim order until the Court has the ability to provide a final resolution in the case.