Found an issue on this page? Let us know and we will look into it as soon as possible.
What can I do about a runaway 17 year old...
Anonymous4 views3 answers
who is being allowed to stay at her boyfriend's parents' home with him, without my permission? The parents won't return our calls, answer the door, and are facilitating this situation as well as brainwashing her into believing she can do things she cannot do (i.e., transfer schools, become emancipated, get her - my - car signed over to her name, etc.).
Your 17 y/o daughter is staying at her BF's house without your permission? First, get an exorcist; then, spank her ass when she gets home--pull every electronic she owns until you receive an apology and she has been grounded for about a month. OMG, I'd be livid. I have 14, 15, 17 and 21 y/o daughters and if they EVER pulled that stunt, I'd come after them and have the parents of the 17 y/o arrested for kidnapping.
Okay, here are your rights:
A child must be 18 to leave home without a parents permission; unless she is legally married. She can be legally married if she has at least one parent's consent and is over 14 y/o.
A child over 17 cannot be picked up by juvenile probation because she is over 17 already. However, you can call the police to come bring her ass home. She is NOT emancipated by a court, cannot sign legal documents and my guess should be a HS senior next year (unless she graduates in May 2011) and you are the parent/guardian not BF's parents.
Be careful, if this tyrant tells the police she was being abuse at home, she opens up the huge can of worms for you... because kids LIE to get their way and it costs YOU to prove your innocence.
How would she get your car signed over to her? I presume your car is in your name, so absent fraud, that won't happen unless you agree to it.
I don't have all your facts; however, I do have three very respectful daughters and one out of control 17 y/o brat (who happens to be gorgeous so she gets away with much of her bad behavior with a smile). Beauty is fleeting. Character is important and she has none right now. Thus, I empathize to the extent the facts I presume are correct.
When she turns 18, all bets are off. She is on her own unless you have a Court's order that you are her guardian.
Kids are tough - most of us can relate. You do all you can to raise them right and then about her age, they know it all.
From a legal perspective, you can call the police and report her as a runaway. You can tell the police about what is going on at the bf's house, and the police will likely have a nice little talk with those folks and advise them that they are committing a criminal offense by harboring a runaway. They will bring your daughter home.
The problem is, that she will likely run away again. You can report her again. If she keeps doing it, then she can be prosecuted but that really won't do any good.
I agree with the other lawyer - you need to tread carefully with such a rebellious child or you can almost expect to hear accusations of physical & possible sexual abuse. Sadly, kids use these types of allegations to get away with their misbehaviors and to get what they want. And, the State will happily accomodate them by prosecuting whomever they accuse, even without real proof and in spite of the obvious motive to lie.
Perhaps she can get emancipated - but who will pay for the process? And, she probably cannot prove that she qualifies. Living with a bf and being supported by his parents does not demonstrate independence.
You are right - she cannot transfer schools unless YOU or her other parent/guardian give permission. Don't. In fact, put the school on notice that you oppose the transfer of schools in the event that someone decides to try to forge your name on the documents. Don't make it easy for her.
If you pay any of her bills such as cell phone, stop. Do not give her any money or help her in any way. If she thinks she is so independent and you can get control, do not enable her by supporting her financially.
If she has possession of a car that is yours - in your name - TAKE IT BACK. As long as she is under 18, and possibly even beyond that in an negligent entrustment theory, you can be held liable if she has a wreck. If she cannot live in your house & follow your rules, then I would not trust her with a car, and I certainly would not be paying for her a car (or for insurance - which means I would not let her have a car.)
When she turns 18, you lose any control over her (except that you still can take YOUR car back.) She can transfer schools, sign contracts, do whatever she wants. You will not be liable for her acts (except possibly under a negligent entrustment theory of recovery.)
Sadly, if you cannot get control back, and you might not (and it is not your fault - just don't enable her financially), then you might just have to ride it out for a while until his parents tire of her and supporting her, she & bf get into a fight, she grows up, etc.
(My oldest daughter knew it all. She would not follow the rules so I made her move out at age 19. She moved into an apt she could afford with another girl - a dump. Her computer was stolen, her clothes were stolen, she learned what it is like to have your stuff used and abused by others, etc. After her lease was up, she was crawling on her knees begging to come back home and go back to college. It was hard to watch her live in filth, etc., but she began to appreciate me and what I do for her.)
I wish you luck and I wish her knowledge.
