They got divorced when I was about four or five, my dad can only get me every other weekend, but I would ilke to move in with my dad now, because I have not been able to live with him any of my life. But my mother is not okay with me living with him, can she stop me from leaving?
I am sorry to hear this. I would respectfully ask your mother for permission as i am sure she loves you very much, if she doesn't give you permission you need to find out what the age of emancipation is in your state, once you reach that age you may make the decision. The second option is for your father to go the court and ask permission for you to move in with him and if you go to court with him and say you want to move, the judge may allow it. good luck and take care, please make this decision carefully, as your family is very important.
The answer that was provided by the first attorney was thoughtful and insightful.
Instead of moving in with your father, why don't you spend the entire summer at your dad's and have your mother have every other weekend? Or...if your father resides close to your school, without going to court, you can spend one week with each parent, or any possession schedule can be agreed to by your parents.
It isn't a matter of custody, it is merely a matter of time you spend with each parent. Hope the answers help you.
Two lawyers have already given great answers. Both answers involve trying as a first resort to get your parents to work things out through agreement. If they can't reach agreement, then they would have to go to court to settle things. At age 17, your wishes would play a strong part in what a court would decide, but nobody likes to see a teenager put in the middle between two opposing parents. It would be much better if things could be worked out, outside of court. For this reason, I would like to throw out another option, of mediation.
A family mediator is a neutral person specially trained in helping families reach agreement in situations just like yours. You can find an independent family or parenting mediator in your area by using google or by looking at www.mediate.com. What a family mediator will help your parents develop is called a "Parenting Plan." A parenting plan is basically an agreement that sets out how the two parents agree their child will be parented, including visitation schedules. As children age, their needs change, and so a parenting plan should be revisited or revised every so often.
While you may think your mother is being totally unreasonable in not wanting you to go live with your father, she probably has some reason. A mediator could help your family explore those reasons and find ways of meeting her objections. For instance, what if she is afraid your father will just let you blow off your senior year of high school. What could you and your father promise to do that would alleviate those fears? (I am not trying to say what her objections might actually be, but just to use that as an example.)
With regard to what should be in a parenting plan, I wish every set of parents would think about the bottom line: A child just has one childhood. And, what does their child need to have a happy childhood? Ideally, surely, both parents would agree (for starters) that a happy childhood includes two active, involved, and supporting parents who are working as a team in the best interest of the child. Just because parents are divorced (or never married, even) does not mean they can stop co-operating with each other where parenting is concerned. The issue is not really who should have "custody," but rather how can each parent be as fully engaged as possible in the responsibilities, activities, privileges, drudgery, and joys of being a parent. Ideally, your parents would agree on their goals for you and for your life and your childhood (okay okay, you are a teen, but you will be an adult a long time, so enjoy being a kid as long as possible), and then after they agree what kind of life they hope you will have, they would agree on how the could work together to make that life happen. Some common goals both parents might agree on could include for you to have a stable and secure home life, to have a decent education, to feel loved, to have friends, to receive moral or religious education, things like that. Then, after they reached agreement on these goals, can they agree on measures that are needed to achieve those goals?
This leads back to the example of meeting your mother's concerns. If all of you (or just your parents) were to sit down in mediation, you might be able to find ways to meet everyone's objectives and concerns. If you didn't, there is still another device that will also keep you out of court, and that is to consult with a neutral person that everyone trusts to just help you make a decision. Many families agree to consult with a neutral child psychologist who meets with everyone, talks with everyone about their concerns, and then makes a recommendation to the parents. Good luck!
