What are my legal options if I caught my wife cheating?

This is a terrible situation to have, when your children are potentially in danger due to the actions of the other parent. If you want to act quickly because you are concerned for the safety of your children, then file a complaint immediately along with an emergency motion for custody. Custody is RARELY granted on an emergency basis, and usually requires solid evidence of abuse and neglect of the children -- not just your own testimony. Most likely your situation will call for a motion for temporary orders seeking custody to you and visitation to her, but this will be a judgment call between you and your lawyer after fulling reviewing your case as to which action to take. Good luck.

I am sorry you are dealing with this. Your question raises a lot of issues and concerns, specifically those relating to her parental fitness given her health and the conduct you describe. While you may seek a divorce on the grounds of adultery I would not recommend it as doing so is more likely to make the divorce process financially and emotionally more difficult for everyone involved. Your wife's conduct with a 3rd party may be relevant to issues of custody and division of assets. I would strongly suggest that you contact a family law attorney who can explain what options are available to you. I wish you all the best.

Your first concern should be the safety of your child, and as attorney Reade points out, the fastest way to address this issue is to file for divorce with a concurrent motion for custody or visitation (either on an emergency or temporary basis). Whether or not you want to pursue the divorce is another matter which can be decided later – the divorce proceedings, particularly if it contested, can be fairly lengthy. The proceedings may also push your wife into counseling or other forms of treatment. As for your wife’s infidelity, I agree with the other attorney’s that pursuing a fault based divorce is generally counter productive. The divorce generally becomes acrimonious and drives the action away from settlement to trial without any benefit – just higher attorney costs for both sides.

It is unfortunate that you find yourself dealing with these problems. The answers given by the first three responders are correct. The first issue to address must be the safety of both your daughter and step-son. Depending on the involvement of the biological father and the length of time you have been a step-father, you may not be able to address the safety issues involving him. I would suggest that you contact an attorney immediately to determine the best course of action to enable you to obtain custody of your daughter. It may be an emergency motion or a regular motion for temporary orders. It is important for you to get into court as quickly as possible while still being properly prepared. As for the second issue, I certainly understand the pain you are feeling. Unfortunately, the reality is that the Courts do not wish to address these issues unless the welfare of a child has been put at risk or there has been a substantial dissipation or wasting of marital assets as a result of an affair. I would not recommend filing on the ground of adultery as the extra time, emotions and expense are never worth the outcome. Even in a so-called "no-fault" divorce, the adultery issue can be raised if in connection to children or wasting of assets. Good luck.