Dad is losing his DL on thursday, and I am going to take his vehicle, can I sell this vehicle, because he will never drive again. Of course he will never agree to this nor will he agree to go to assisted living. But i'm getting used to making him do what he doesn't want to do.
When he WAS competent, your father trusted you to handle things for him, if he ever became incapacitated. Now that that time has come, you simply need to do the best you can, to take care of him. What you have proposed sounds reasonable, under the circumstances.
You are in a difficult position, however, because he will not thank you for your efforts, at this point. He is likely to resist you, in fact, as you have already seen.
As long as you continue to focus on his needs and what is best for him, I am sure that you will live up to the trust that he placed in you. If you have questions or concerns, you can certainly consult with an attorney in your area.
James Frederick
In a Power of Attorney, both parties place trust in each other. As attorney in fact, you are entrusted as a fiduciary and so required to act in the utmost good faith to the principal (your father). That being said, a power of attorney, whether durable or not, can terminate when you take actions that are antagonistic to the principal.
It would be a good idea to have an attorney look over the specific powers granted to you in that power of attorney, to make sure that seling the car would not be outside the scope of your powers nor be deemed "antagonistic" to the principal.
Joseph M. MasiukEstate Planning AttorneySouthampton, PA ·
One of the toughest things in my elder law practice is to get the sons and daughters of an incapacitated parent ready to face this truth:
The kids are now the "parents" to their parents.
You, now, are apparently in that situation and circumstances now demand that you be a Good Parent.
If you have kids of your own, think back to the times when you ordered them to do (or not do) something. They might have responded with something like, "I hate you." Now ask yourself, "Would I have changed what I wanted my kid to do (or not do) just because they would he or she wouldn't like me?" Of course you wouldn't, because as a parent, you were charged to do what was right by your kid.
Like it or not, the same is true today.
I wish you all the best in being a Good Parent to your dad. As one of the other writers noted, it's a thankless job, but much of the struggles we've had in parenting our kids has been thankless, too, but also worthwhile and necessary.
