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Father won't let me speak to my child on the phone
Anonymous3 views3 answers
My child's father will not return my text messages or phone calls to check on my child. He sees him every other weekend. Every weekend I call at least once to check on my child. In our last custody case, it has been documented that his father has questionable decision making skills. Therefore I would like to know that my child is alive and breathing and well. I let him know..hours after trying to contact him that I would contact law enforcement if he would not contact me to let me know my son is safe and to talk to him. Am I in the wrong? Can I bring this up in my upcoming custody case?
If you have an "upcoming custody case" then I would definately bring this up as it reflects upon what is in the best interest of the child. Although it may be a violation of the parenting orders (you would have to check the specific language of that) the police will generally not charge him with anything for not answering the phone during visitation periods. If you really have reason to believe that there is a problem, you could call the police to check on the well-being of your child, because he won't answer the phone - but I wouldn't do that often.
Has the father actually done anything to endanger the child? If not, you may need to back off just a bit, "Questionable decision making skills" and endangering the child are two very different things. Saying that you want to know that your child is "alive and breathing' is a bit dramatic unless there is really a history that would suggest that there is an actual reason to believe that there may be a problem. Otherwise, the reason he is not responding to your calls may be that it borders on harassment. The father's visitation fime with the chlid is his opportunity to bond with the child. This is impossible if you are calling every few hours to "check up" on whether your child is "still alive". It is not just "your child" - it is also his child. It sounds like all you really want to do is make certain the chlid does not forget about you even for a minute - although that is exactly what needs to happen if the child is to have a chance to relate to the father even a little bit.
Does he check up on you and what your are doing with the child when the child is in your custody? Does he call CPS and/or the police to check on you? You do not state what "questionable decision making" he demonstrated in the past. What he a danger to the child? It is hard for us to give you an opinion without more information. It is hard to assess whether or not your concerns are real or whether or not you are a busybody interfering in his life. Without more facts and more information, it is hard to tell you if you are justified in calling the police or anyone else. His time is his time. It is limited so it should not be interrupted by you unless there is a good reason why it should be interrupted. This advice is not directed at you personally as I do not know you or your situation. I am simply demonstrating why more information needs to be known to properly advise you. You may be best off having a face to face consultation with a family law attorney to he/she can spend more time and give you a factually based opinion.
Rebekah Ryan MainDivorce / Separation LawyerRancho Cucamonga, CA ·
Oh dear. I understand why you would want to check up. However, there is no law saying that you have the absolute right to phone calls so the police will not get involved. What you need is a court order granting you telephonic contact rights. It is reasonable to request it and the Judge will give it to you. If you have a court order and dad refuses to comply, he can be held in contempt. But the watchword here is reasonable. Try not to make unreasonable demands, they only hurt your credibility with the judge.
I would recommend against calling CPS unless you have an actual instance of abuse or endangerment to report. Your personal discomfort is not child abuse.
Best of luck to you.
Attorney Rebekah Ryan Main
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