Can I go to court to clarify an order without being sanctioned?

Really impossible to answer without knowing who your judge was and what went wrong that got you sanctioned. You need to consult with an experienced family law attorney in your area (or in the jurisdiction where the hearing took place) and have them review the hearing DVD to best advise on your options. A good attorney would be able to take that email from your ex, present it to your ex's attorney, and try to work it out through the attorneys before filing any motion (doing that may have saved you from sanctions in the first place).

I agree with Ms. Whitbeck that you should consult with Counsel and have them review the video or Court Minutes. Additionally, if I read the question correctly, you are saying that he has informed you he is directly violating the Court's Order. If that is correct, I believe rather than clarify the Order it would make more sense to seek contempt for violating the Order. It would be helpful to know which Judge is hearing this matter. In some cases, Judges set specific dates/times for telephone communication to occur which might be something that you can discuss with an attorney.

If you are able to prove that the children want to call you and your ex is not allowing them, then it is not likely to get sanctioned if you bring a motion for contempt. However, as Ms. Whitbeck suggested, hiring an attorney who can communicate with your ex's attorney may resolve the situation faster and without repercussions to either of you.

I would simply add that if you are seeking to "clarify" right after being in court (i.e. just a few months ago), any judge would be frustrated - at both parents. If you keep good records on attempts to keep lines of communications open (i.e. texts, emails asking to not unreasonably restrict the children, etc.), but things deteriorate over time, you will have a better shot to go to the court and ask "hey, I've tried judge, but can you clarify this?" Strong and reasonable attempts to work through these types of issues are respected by the Judges. They have so many cases that having as case before them to resolved and define "freewill" from 3 calls, to 5 calls, to 7 calls a week, takes up time in the Court that they just get frustrated by the lack of flexibility from both parents. The moving party may bear the brunt of that frustration - so be very careful and use a lawyer.